Friday, September 08, 2006

College life

Well. It's official.

I'm a college girl now!

I just finished my first week of classes.

Last week was orientation and registration. Wednesday I attended my first class. It's strange to want something for so long and then to actually get it. I arrived 15 minutes early and slid into an empty seat. I watched the class fill up with students (most of them around 4 years younger than me). I had my notebook open and my pen ready to start writing notes. I must have appeared over eager, I was just happy to finally be a college student.

I still haven't declared my major, but I have a year to figure it out according to my guidance counselor.

It's not as difficult as I expected, just a lot of reading right now and expensive textbooks to buy. The professors didn't look like stereotypical professors. (i.e. gray hair, glasses, suits..) None of them are like Robin Williams from "Dead Poets Society" . Most of my teachers are in their thirties.

I haven't updated in a while because to be honest, I didn't feel the urge. My life was kind of going on a downhill spiral and when it finally picked up again, I was too busy to write about it. I don't have as much private alone time as I used to. Since Lisa moved in, everything has been so chaotic.

However, I started college and that's pretty damn huge.

Let me try to recap the past month of my life.

Lisa and I are bestfriends now. I can truly say that I love her. We just get eachother and we still sleep in the same bed. It's comfortable and there isn't much space anyway. Eventually she'll probably be able to afford another futon, for now the arrangement still works.

Jonas and I see eachother every other day. I finally built up the courage to tell him about my struggles and be honest about everything...(except for the fact that I have a crush on him) The crush has calmed down a bit, once I stopped seeing our friendship as dating... I still want to kiss him and it still hasn't happened but I'm okay with it.

I havent seen Michael since that incident... I kind of fell out of contact with some of my other friends (i.e. Stacey and Carl) It's because I spend all of my time with Lisa now. She's in the shower at the moment.

I'm still working at the bar, I just took on some more shifts. There's so much to write about and not enough time... We have some friends coming over in half an hour.

I'm going to update more often again, I miss this outlet.. I miss having a place to put down my feelings and experiences. My days feel more empty without, and I forget things. I realize I need this diary. This is my space, my private corner to express myself. I have all these emotions that I keep bottled up inside, all these feelings, desires... I can't even get it all out. I'm doing better on the outside, but I'm still struggling on the inside.

It's my turn to get in the shower.
posted by Iris at 6:27 PM