Thursday, July 06, 2006

Something to consider....

Work at the bar has been more stressful since Stacey left the job. I had to work for two people since my boss hadn't found a replacement. I was always on my feet and burnt out by the end of my shift.

Tonight my boss brought in a new employee. She's 20 years old but looks about 16. Her name is Lisa. She has bleached blond hair that falls past her shoulders and wide searching eyes. She always looks like she's hungry and expecting something to happen. She kept shifting her weight from foot to foot and running her tongue over her lips. I guess she was nervous on her first day. My boss put me in charge of showing her the ropes which I wasn't really in the mood for. It's a hassle training a new person and I'd never done it before. Stacey had trained me when I first arrived.

During break, she offered me a marlboro light and I accepted. We stood outside together in the alleyway watching the cars drive by. It was drizzling outside and kind of cold tonight.

She started telling me about her background, she's from San Francisco and was staying here with her cousin.

She's looking for a roommate and a place to live before she wears out her welcome.

I told her I'd look into it and try to help her out.

Now that I'm home, I'm starting to think that maybe I should offer for her to live with ME. I need a roommate to help foot the bills so that I can put aside money for college. It seems to make the most sense, It's just that my apartment is a one room studio. it's large, but there isn't any private space. I don't know how I would bring in another person, but financially it would make a lot of sense. She doesn't seem to be picky about living conditions and seems to need something fast.

We would probably get along. She seems nice enough. liberal, laidback, cool, a smoker and a drinker. Maybe she could help me furnish this apartment.

I don't know, I'm kind of on the fence about it. I like having my own apartment and my personal space, but it's not like I have a lot of money or options right now.

I would also be helping out someone in need. She seems as lost as I am.

I don't know, I'll sleep on it.

Jonas is back from his grandparents house. I would call him, but it's 2 A.M. I want to hear his voice again and feel that happiness build in the pit of my stomach. I just hate sitting at home unable to sleep and lonely.

I hate these empty moments in my life. I wonder if they'll ever go away. Is this it? Is this really as good as it gets? I feel like there has to be something more. I'm throwing my words out there into the emptiness of cyberspace imagining that someone cares and is listening. That someone else might be feeling lonely and receive a bit of comfort from these words. That's probably not the case, but it's nice to imagine. I'm going to take a shower and get some sleep.
posted by Iris at 2:15 AM