Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Sick Day

"Can you pull off your bra?"

"Can you touch your breast?.."

"Can you slip your hand into your panties?...yes like that"

"touch yourself slowly...mmmm...does that feel good?"

It haunts me in my dreams. I wont be able to live this down. Even if I go to college, even if I get a nice job, even when I get married and have kids. It's not going to go away. These nightmares are going to follow me and the memory of what I did to get into this apartment aren't going to just disappear. I can't just erase it.

Last night, I woke up in a sweat... and I leaned over the toilet bowl. Nothing came out. I just stared at my wavering reflection in the toilet water...my hair falling over my face...feelign sick. feeling scared.

I hate my life sometimes. I hate this so much.

I'm going to have a cup of coffee and head to work. I'm running late and I'm not even motivated to get dressed.
posted by Iris at 7:51 AM