Thursday, June 01, 2006

Not this time

It's amazing how you can lie to yourself. ..for such a long time

I can't handle this. I can't handle what happened on Tuesday. I thought I could just write about it here and go on my way.

I can't. I'm freaking out because I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the person I've become.

I told Stacey about what happened and in the middle of the explanation, I just started sobbing. It was the look in her eyes. It was a mixture of pity and shock. It had been a month since we last saw eachother. A month after her wedding.

This was a wake up call. I'm not just going to talk about changing my life and than simply fall back into bed with Michael. Not this time.

This morning, he reached for me when I was coming out of bed. He pulled on the edge of my panties... forcing me to fall back onto the mattress. He slid his hand in my tanktop. I felt his clumsy hand reaching for my breasts. He thought he could just arouse me like he used to. Seduce me into staying with him.

I shoved him away.

This is really it.
posted by Iris at 4:40 PM