Wednesday, June 28, 2006

New Bikini

This afternoon, Carl and I went shopping for a new bikini for my date this weekend. It was fun going to the mall with him again, It's been a while since we spent time together. We had iced coffee in the food court and just caught up. He seems so happy and in love with his new boyfriend. I'm really glad he found someone that he really connects with.

I guess that's what we're all looking for in life. If you're lucky enough to find that person, you don't let go.

I'm kind of jealous. I want that.

I found a great bikini on clearance at Victorias Secret. This is what it looks like:

I tried it on in the dressing room. It's strange how open it was. It was just one huge room with mirrors on all sides. There were 5 other woman trying on outfits. I get self-conscious about removing my clothing in front of strangers. I wonder if I'm the only one that subconsciously compares my body to everyone else's. The woman next to me was a few years older and very confident. She just pulled off her top, revealing perfect breasts. Then she played with her hair in front of the mirror, whipping her long blond hair past her shoulders and peering at her reflection. She seemed to comand attention and I couldn't help looking.

I tried on the bikini and she smiled at me.

"That looks good on you", she said "you have a nice body"

For some reason that made my day. It was like Julia Roberts telling you that you're good looking. A compliment from a stranger really makes a difference if you're as insecure as I am. I walked out of the dressing room to get Carl's opinion. He gave a low whistle and nodded. He gave me a thumbs up. Carl is great to go shopping with. He might not be heterosexual, but he has an eye for fashion. I can always trust his judgment.

When I got home, I took the bikini out of the bag, tried it on again and spread a blanket on the fire escape. The sunlight was streaming in and the skies were blue. I was hoping to get some sun before my beach trip. I'm so pale right now. It was relaxing, the warmth on my body and the sounds of the city below. I felt at peace, for a moment. Everything was okay.

I closed my eyes and thought about Jonas. I imagined us making out on the warm sand. I imagined what his lips would feel on mine. I'm looking forward to Saturday. I'm wondering if I should call him, just to say "hi". It's tempting, I want to just hear his voice again. I've been hoping that he would show up at the Deli again, but he didn't.

I'll just wait until this weekend. I don't want to jinx it. I have to take this slow and be patient. I don't want him to start taking me for granted and getting sick of me. I have to play it cool.

Tonight is Stacey's last night working a the bar. We're going to throw her a going-away party. Posted by Picasa
posted by Iris at 5:58 PM