Wednesday, January 04, 2006

A connection

Oh my god, I just had the most surreal experience..It wasn't even surreal. It just feels surreal.

You know, when you just connect with someone on a deeper level? You can't describe it, but it just makes you feel alive. We're all strangers on this planet, going about our business and living in our own heads. Then someone comes and rips you out of this for a moment. You just look into their eyes and you connect. It's not sexual, but something else. It's just for a moment, you feel like someone GETS you..

I was working at the deli this morning, the early shift from only 7:30-10:30. I was slicing meat absently when he entered.

A guy that was around twenty-something, Hair that was bleached on the tips, or maybe just grown out dye-job. Maybe he was out in the sun in California. I couldn't tell. He had warm eyes, a nice tan and wearing a gray sweater. Not my usual type, He wasn't dark and handsome, But he wasn't clean-cut either. Kind of a grungy mixture that is hard to place, or maybe I don't need to place. I don't know why we feel the need to put people into stereo-type cut-out description anyways.

He came up to the counter and asked for the standard bagel

"hold the creamcheese, just a bagel", He said

"Okay", I turned around to heat it up when he started singing.

"...And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
because I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am"

I turned around and just stared at him.

"Iris", He said "The goo goo dolls"

"How do you know my name?", I asked

He pointed to my name tag. I laughed and rolled my eyes. But something about having a song sung to me by a complete stranger threw me off guard and I couldn't focus. I was blushing, which is weird and kind of embarrassing to admit. The words also hit home for me...

"What's your name?", I asked


I laughed and started singing my favorite weezer song from Middle school

"My name is Jonas!
I'm carrying the wheel.
Thanks for all you've shown us.
But this is how we feel.

and he joined in, We were singing this together and laughing at the same time...

Come sit next to me, pour yourself some tea.
Just like grandma made, when we couldn't find sleep.
Things were better then.
Once but never again..."

We stopped in the middle of the verse at the same time.

We looked at eachother and I looked down, because I felt like I had shared such a dorky moment with someone I didn't know and it felt odd. But good..really good. Like for a moment everything wasn't so gray and the sun was shining again. Like I woke up out of some weird depressive coma.

My boss came out of the backroom and I wrapped up the bagel for him. Then I rang it up. Another customer came in. Jonas said goodbye and walked out.

I bit my lip and smiled.

I'll probably never see him again, and I'm not going to get obsessed about this encounter.

1. I have a boyfriend
2. I love him.

But it just felt good and I wanted to write about it. I don't just felt like a great way to start off the year. Yes, Random and not that earth shattering.

Michael and I went to a big party on New years, we got very very drunk and I passed out at 7 a.m. on the sofa. naked.

I woke up and saw Michael on the floor.

I have to confess something, but I don't feel the same stirring inside of me at the sight of his naked body. Not like I used to. I want to regain that passion again.
posted by Iris at 10:33 AM