Friday, November 04, 2005

Where was he?

Michael didn't come home last night.

I came home from work at 1:30 A.M. and the house was empty. I sat by the window drinking shots of Absolut vodka and smoked nearly an entire pack of Marlboro lights. At 5:30 A.M., I fell asleep on top of the blankets with my work uniform still on.

I woke up to the sound of Michael bustling into the room at 8 A.M., he grabbed a jacket out of the closet and exited the room wordlessly.

Then I heard the front door close.

That was all I've seen of him all day. Now I have to head to work.

I want to know where he was all night, but I don't want to sound like a nagging wife. He is free to do as he pleases. It just hurts..

I would tell HIM if I wasn't planning on coming home.

God, Listen to how I sound?

I don't know how to feel or how to behave. I'm his roommate..not his wife. This is complex. I hate this feeling in my stomach, this feeling like it's all out of control and slipping away. I feel like I have to hold on to a relationship that's crumbling. I know it's all in my mind.. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation. Maybe he just crashed at his bestfriend's house.

Halloween was fun though..I was going to write about it. But right now all I can think about is Michael and speculate on where the hell he WAS last night...
posted by Iris at 11:06 AM