Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Porn

I just found Michael's porn stash.

I was going through his DVD collection today looking for a movie to watch. I didn't have a morning shift at starbucks, and I had nothing to do. All my friends are at work during these hours and I found myself strolling aimlessly through an empy apartment.

He had a number of independent films and foreign films, which was surprising. But I don't really get into movies with subtitles. He had "Six Feet Under" boxset of season 1 and 2, but I've already seen all of those. I dug into the back, and then I saw a number of porns.

I was curious immediately. Most people would probably just put them away, but I had to see what he watched. It was too tempting. Plus, to be entirely honest..I've never watched porn before.

I know that seems unbelievable considering the fact that I'm 21 years old. I was raised in a conservative household and my mother didn't even want us watching anything rated R. as a child or young teenager. Everything I did was behind her back. I never had access to any of those things.

Once I moved out of the house, I never had the courage to enter a porn shop.

So I put it in and sat on his bed..I didn't know what to expect, maybe some kinky fetishes or surprising discoveries about his sexual perversions.

But it was actually incredibly erotic. I was instantly aroused by what I was watching, I couldn't even breathe..

This is embarrassing to admit, but I ended up sliding my hand into my panties.

I still can't believe I masturbated to his porn. I put it back and my face felt hot. I wonder what he would say if he found out. I can't believe I'm even WRITING this..

It was just kind of exciting and new.

There was something I saw that I'm going to try on him tonight.

***

To dramatically switch topics, Stacey might be able to get me a job at TGI Fridays. I'd make more money than at Starbucks and have better hours.

My sister called. After only 15 minutes we got into a huge fight about Luke and she hung up on me. Apparently Luke is visiting my family now on a regular basis and moaning about the breakup to them. He's trying to use my sister as a way of getting us back together.

I can't understand why he's doing this..and I can't believe it either. I've gone from feeling guilty to feeling angry.

posted by Iris at 3:04 PM