Friday, August 12, 2005

I want to quit my job

I want to quit my bartending job.

Last night I feel like my boss really crossed the line but to be honest I'm not sure if I'm simply blowing it all out of proportion. I'm not trying to make this into a drama but It just didn't feel right.

He came behind the bar at 1 A.M. and I could tell he'd been drinking. He started joking around with some of my co-workers. I ignored him and stayed at the far end of the bar serving customers.

He came up to me from behind, His body was up against mine and he whispered in my ear "You're not sour are you?"

I didn't turn around. I just shook my head. I wasn't sure what he was talking about. I assume it was our talk last week in his office about my "work ethic"

"You're doing a good job, Iris", He said "Just sometimes you have to make sure everyone stays in line. It's what I do"

"Of course"

I despise this man.

Then he squeezed my ass

I didn't move, I just froze and stared straight ahead. He lingered behind me for a moment, then laughed. Then said "Keep it up". He walked away.

I clenched my jaw and contemplated chasing after him, kicking him in the balls, splashing a glass of vodka in his face and yelling "I quit you stupid son of a bitch!!"

But I just kept working, because I can't quit. I need this job, It's my main source of income. But I might as well be a stripper because this is degrading enough. I'd make more money as a stripper to be honest.

I told Stacey about it this morning. She was thoughtful, and she said "If you want to quit this job, DO IT. I'll help support you while you're looking for another job"

"Did you ever want to quit?"

"Sure, but not because I was sexually harrassed by the boss, just because I was tired of it"

"So... why didn't you?"

"The money is good, it's what I do. I know everyone there. It's close to my home. It's all I've ever done"

So for the first time, I'm seriously contemplating the idea of quitting this job. On the other hand, so my boss got drunk and squeezed my ass.... Call the press. Big freaking deal. Who am I anyway? What difference does it make?

Maybe I should talk to him and tell him that it bothered me.

But that would mean talking to him about it. Which I probably wont ever do. I'll probably just forget about it tomorrow and go on as usual. Because, what other choice do I have?

I'm sure some people are reading this and thinking "Well I would never allow myself to be treated that way"

Well... Good for you.

I'm not going to financially depend on Stacey for survival and I'm not going to call my mother to help me out either. Those are the only options if I quit this job. Who says I'll even find another one?

I'm so tired of this.

It's so hot today, I feel like I can't breath..I feel myself sinking into a low mood of despair. I have to head to work in 45 minutes, but all I want to do is crawl back into bed and sleep the day away.
posted by Iris at 11:53 AM