Tuesday, August 30, 2005

feeling sick

I hate this crushing feeling of despair in my pit of my stomach. I feel like I've just given up and all my dreams have been destroyed.

I hate how pathetic I just began this diary entry...

Today I laid around all day, filling my computer desk with crumpled up tissues, drinking tea and ingesting NyQuil. I read through all my blog links. (the ones on the left of this template) It was nice having the time to really sit down and just enjoy them without having to rush off to work.

It's amazing how beautiful people can write, the moments they capture, the funny stories they share and how talented some of them are. I didn't leave any comments, just read through archives and preferred being a silent voyeur. It seems like everyone in the blog community has a friendship with eachother, through their comments. I'm in the outskirts because I choose to have my comments closed. That doesn't really bother me though.

But a note to whoever is reading this. If you have time..read the blogs on my list. They're really amazing.

Michael called me this afternoon, I told him that I was moving back in with my Mom. I started crying on the phone and I had to keep blowing my nose because I was so congested. My eyes started burning even more.

Michael didn't say much. He was quiet. He said he had to do some "thinking" and that he had some stuff he needed to do tonight.

"I'll call you tomorrow, I hope you feel better soon, Iris"

and he hung up the phone. I was too sick and tired to even get emotional about it.

I told Stacey I was moving out. She asked me "Are you sure?"

I said "Yes" and tried to smile. I thanked her for everything and told her I would be leaving Saturday morning.

I don't feel like writing anymore about this today. It's too depressing.
posted by Iris at 4:18 AM